Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Who Owns Your Soul, MySpace or Facebook?

Ok so most of us probably agree that MySpace came along and changed the universe forever; whether for better or worse is in the eye of the beholder, but it's for damn sure that it changed things. It opened a global community like never before and gave everyone in the world a chance to annoy their favourite bands and singers and to basically have their own website without any knowledge of IT. All was well and good in the happy land of cyberspace, until that fateful day when one of your mates suddenly said "Oh yeah have you seen that Facebook thing? It's quite cool actually".

From that point on, we were all doomed.

How did we get from the simple existence of ringing eachother at our respective houses, and perhaps even the lucky few who could be contacted on that rare technological stroke of genius, the mobile phone - cell phone for all you chaps across the pond - to being in such a technical scatterfuck (that's my new word and I'll thank you not to steal it) that we no longer know how to contact our nearest and dearest?!?!!?

"I wonder if Geoff fancies coming out for a pint. I'll just send him a text."
"No mate Geoff never answers his texts, you have to ring him."
"He's not picking up. I'll just e-mail him."
"Mate he hasn't checked his e-mails in weeks. You'll have to Facebook him."
"Facebook, I thought he was on MySpace?!"

FUCK YOU GEOFF!!! You and your silly methods of trying to remain elusive. Just pick up your fucking phone like a normal human being!!!

In a perfect world, Geoff would have lost two friends that evening. But unfortunately Geoff is simply the norm in these crazy times in which we live. You see, we're all Geoff now. We're all Geoff.


Anonymous said...

Genius. So fucking true.

Anonymous said...

Brilliant mate, absolutely brilliant. Makes you wonder though, where have our social skills truly gone, that we are unable to meet and greet new friends at the local pub. Instead we are anonymous names attached to text. For some its understandable, but when you live in the same community its silly.

Nick Lang said...

Uh oh, and here we are communicating with eachother anonymously!
We are all slaves my friends, every one of us...
Except for the Amish.

Anonymous said...

lmfao.. This guys a fking loser umm hello if not for myspace and the "internet" you would still be calling local bar/mall skanks... if you even did that in the first place.

The net is full of low self esteem babes.. why do u think they are online? Both normal n hot babes I've banged many net encounters!Now i call models and super babes all across the states! If you can't pull a chicks digits online, thats cuz ur a LOSER aka ftard!

You shouldn't be having trouble getting your hands on a good bit of wealth online either. Get your thumb out ur azz and think.

Nick Lang said...

Crikey Mr Anonymous, perhaps you could impart some of your pearls of wisdom to us simple mortals in how to "bang many net encounters... both normal and hot".

I'm sure there are many people like me reading your comment and thinking to themselves:

"This guy is a fucking genius!!! Why am I out there working in a worthwhile and satisfying job that helps and educates people, spending time with friends and family exchanging stories, ideas and jokes and living with my beautiful and intellegent girlfriend, when I could be bagging myself a load of 'low self esteem babes' and calling 'models and super babes all across the states' on the net?
I've been wasting my life. I just wish that wise and learned Mr Anonymous would write a book so that my life could be even half as cool as his."

So on behalf of everybody in the world I beg of you Mr Anonymous, please write a book and share with us your monumentous and ever impressive knowledge. Only then will I be able to "get my thumb out of my azz" and pull some "chicks digits online"

Help us oh wise one, before it's too late and we all get married and have children with the women we love in the real world!!!